Coming back to calm. Everyday is about coming back to calm. To stillness. Through the rush of events and dreams that make up my waking hours there is a silent ache for calm. The moment of pure potential, when all the dust settles and I again see clearly the shapes and contours of all that surrounds. It is in these moment of calm that recovery takes over from effort. Healing and rest replace stress and ambition. There is balance here.
So how do I find this moment, or moments of calm? Each day, through each cycle is different. However, it seems that these moments have their origins in blank canvases, in open space, in the presence of creative potential. An open, flat floor, a blank page and pencil, a silent instrument in a quiet room. In the blank space we find ourselves and our moments of peace. In the blank space we bend, twist, say, spell, build without hesitation and without inhibition. But, surrounding these spaces is a fence of fear, of self-consciousness, of hesitance. It keeps many of us out and far away. It keeps us bent and breaking. Contorted around our insecurities, distanced from ourselves and from each other. This is both sad and frightening to me. Sad because blank spaces surround us, and yet are often invisible, or inaccessible, either physically mentally or culturally. It is frightening because I am just beginning to find and play confidently in the few blank spaces I feel safe in, and the idea that I could lose access to them is scary. I am just beginning to find calm, and confidence, and dare I say freedom in these spaces, so now I fear they may be taken from me.
In light of all this, I would say that coming back to calm means coming back to creativity. It means finding blank spaces and filling them up with our imaginations. This could mean taking the time to clear your mind, read a book, and fill it with your own images. It could mean moving the chairs out of your living room and filling the now empty space with your movement. Or it could mean starting a blog and writing when you need a release.
This post is a promise to myself. A promise that I will look for blank spaces and have the courage to play within them.